Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Hannah Conti.  Please read more about Hannah in the footer.

Hart Crane once wrote, “One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment.”

Imagine a the writer’s equivalent of a long, hot bath. All the stress from writing under deadline or the frustration from editing and re-editing your manuscript drift away with the steam. You can relax, breathe deeply. Here at the writer’s spa, you are free to simply write without worrying about an editor, publisher, or even your SEO.

I discovered this freedom when I was about eleven years old. I was flipping through the books located in the art section. The title, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, intrigued me as I was interested in becoming an artist when I grew up. (You may remember the review that Julie wrote a while back about this site.)

I was especially interested in Cameron’s insistence of completing “morning pages.” This is a method of free-writing three-pages before starting the day. Cameron describes the process in her book:

“There is no wrong way to do morning pages. These daily morning meanderings are not meant to be art. Or even writing… Pages are meant to be simply, the act of moving the hand across the page and writing down whatever comes to mind. Nothing is too petty, too silly, too stupid, or too weird to be included” (The Artist’s Way, 10).

At eleven years of age, I was determined to do follow Cameron’s advice and faithfully complete my morning pages. In the beginning, writing three whole pages of anything seemed to be too broad, too difficult. Eventually, I became accustomed to grabbing my pen and allowing the words to tumble from my mind. Now, at the age of 23, I have amassed over 30 journals of scribblings.

At eleven years-old, I enjoyed reading The Artist’s Way (although the idea of finding one’s “inner child” confused me at that point of my life). However, it was the idea of free-writing that remains the most influential creative and spiritual technique in my life.

The other day, after a long day of creative productivity, I was feeling burnt out in many ways.  I picked up my pen and starting writing. The process of emptying all my pent-up thoughts, energy, prayers, hopes, and fears allowed me process and re-energize.

Here’s YOUR challenge!

I challenge you to give free-writing a chance. After a long day of double-checking Strunk and White, the OED, and the AP Stylebook, check in with you. Relax in the writer’s spa; “drench” yourself in words. Allow yourself to let the torrent of words hidden within to be released. It is a gift we have been given as writer’s.  Appreciate it, be thankful for it. And enjoy it!

Be sure to check out an excerpt from Cameron’s book here as well as her general website.

One of the goals that I hope will help alleviate the cacophony of continuous thoughts that flood my mind and keep me awake at night is to keep a journal.  On hand. Close by.  Easily accessible. Every writer, no matter what genre, should have a journal. At least one — many writers, including myself, have multiple journals.  Whatever works best for you.  Either way, have a book that requires pencil and paper to jot down thoughts.

I added the “four times a week” to make the goal specific and measurable.  Now this writing can take place in any of your journals, but is good to have a one journal that you will use specifically for your writing ideas.

Journal with Pen and Paper!

It is perfectly fine to jot down ideas into a Word document or to utilize some other electronic means.  However, having a journal that is easily accessible is important as well.  There may be times you are literally sitting in traffic or in line at the grocery store and a random idea will pop into your head.  It is not always convenient or possible to have your laptop or iPhone with you, so the old-fashioned pen or pencil and paper is also a good thing to have on hand. As a writer, I think it is good to take the time to write thoughts that flow freely with the tip of a pen.  Handwriting is quickly becoming a lost art.

However you tackle this goal, the important part is that you have a blank slate you can empty the creative vessel when the thoughts are ricocheting off your mind.  It has helped me and I hope it will help others out there as well!

Hola!

Well, it has been a busy few weeks with travel. I spent 2 weeks in Boise, back for a day and a half and then off to Cabo! Cabo was amazing! I love the weather and the resort. We met some great people at the resort. The timeshare was only a trial for me, but I have decided to buy it on the secondary market. It is a great deal and I like the flexibility.

Worldmark by Wyndham is the name of the vacation-ownership program and you can see the Los Cabos resort on the website along with other resorts in the program. The way it works is you get credits each year. You chose a point package and then spend those credits anyway you chose at any resort they have available. Right now, I believe they have over 60 resorts in the United States, Mexico, Canada, Hawaii, as well as Fiji, New Zealand, and Australia.

You can stay as many nights as you chose, whether you want to spend points on 3 nights or 7 nights or even longer. Each night has a point value and each resort has different point values based on season and location. For instance, in Cabo, you can stay for seven nights in a two-bedroom with a full kitchen, washer/dryer, and dining room for 9,000 points in off season or 12,000 points in peak season. Once you purchase and pay off your vacation-owned timeshare, you will have a lifetime membership and you can pass it down to family members when you pass away. Not too bad if you travel a lot, anyway. Hotels are getting expensive and will keep going up in price. There are other benefits to the program including Bonus Time which allows you to book on short notice, using reduced rate resort prices without using any points.

Cabo itself was fun! The weather was in the 90′s everyday and sunny. The climate is the “desert-by-the-sea”. So there is great golfing there as well as plenty of watersports activities. I will be writing my first Suite 101 article on Cabo San Lucas and will provide a link once it is published.

Adios!

I read this quote the other day by Alice Walker:

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.

I guess it has been in the back of my mind. I think this can be true with most people. If you have friends that hold you back, who do not want to listen when you talk, or do not have a positive influence, well ask yourself-What is the point? Life is lonely enough!

I think friends should add a certain value in your life and a certain trust should be in place that tells you they will not bail when you need them the most. I was a little down and out this weekend-no particular reason, just typcal stress and random negative thoughts. That was the time I needed my friends.

This is the time you need support. This is the time you need someone to say, “I know how you feel, I have been there” and just listen.

There does not need to be a solution or even a suggestion. You just need to know you are not crazy and we all have bad days.

Another great quote by C.S. Lewis states:

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.”

Friends learn more about each other when listening, and realize they have felt that way before as well. This lessens the threat of their differences.

Friendship is the sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual. It is also a bond that deepens when times are hard. It is the friend that allows you to cry, speak your mind, and listen–not silence you. It is the friend that loves you even at your worst. It is the friend that allows you to make mistakes and is there when you bounce back and learn from these mistakes. It is the friend that knows your quirks, your flaws, and love you just the same. This is real friendship.

When you have a bad day or just an ordinary day, friends make that day better!

All of my friends out there that actually read this–I love you and thanks!!

Everyone (Interested Readers)–

I am leaving Cheyenne in about a week. It brings mixed emotions. With few exceptions, I have not lived anywhere in my life longer than I have lived here (over four years). This is a long time to spend in one place and memories inevitably will take place. Some good, some bad, but all still etched memories. As I was cleaning out my garage this weekend (after a sad garage sale with little turnout), I found myself feeling an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

That feeling hit me so unexpected I wasn’t sure what to make of it. When I finally got a hold of it, I understood. The dust of my chaotic whirlwind life these past months has settled and it hit me, I am REALLY leaving this place and all the memories I have created here.

Memories have a way of holding on to things you love, things you want to forget, and things that prevent you from moving forward. Even the most subtle events have a way of staying imprinted into the depths of our minds.

This emotion only lasted a couple hours until I started running around packing things again and the dust blurred the melancholy feeling.

I realized in the mix of emotions that day that despite everything, these past four years have helped me grow significantly, placed great people in my life, and helped me realize what is important. It brought me to the place I am supposed to be and it really is as simple as that. This is where I am supposed to be and how I got here is the way it was supposed to happen. Boy, what a long four year path just to get here. But, that is what is is!

I have such sweet adventures coming up and I am looking forward to them all. I am looking forward to the next stage in my life. Interestingly, the NEXT place I live is the FIRST place I have ever completely chosen.

Since I have been back from Iraq, I have been traveling all over Colorado. That wasn’t intentional, but it has been so much fun. I love this state. I have been to Colorado Springs, Denver, Boulder, Fort Collins, Greeley, and this week I am going to Aspen and then back to Colorado Springs. I will post pictures when I get a chance! But, if you live in this area, take advantage of the beauty this state has to offer. If you are not living here–you must visit!!

For all of you single’s-have you noticed the rules of the dating game have changed for everyone in recent years?
If you’re in your 40′s or 50′s and coming out of a relationship that lasted many years, you may wonder if this is the same world it was when you were dating in your 20′s. It is definitely not!

Boy, have the rules changed! If you’re in your 30′s, and have been dating on and off for a while, you must have noticed how difficult this game has become in the last few years. And if you’re in your 20′s perhaps you are used to the new rules, but may not be aware of these new roles. The roles for women have become more assertive and men do not know how to handle it-especially the younger ones. This is one reason I decided to stop dating men in thier 20′s!

For men it is a whole new game. Hunting is no longer men’s exclusive territory. It’s suddenly alright for women to ask men out on a date, approach a man for a dance or even retrieve the phone numbers. Women are dating multiple men, and are increasingly hesitant of becoming attached to any one man.

Many men believe that they have become more mature about dating than some women in this dating era. Men in the new dating game feel more like the hunted, and at the mercy of a new genre of strong, independent women and they don’t know how to handle it. They don’t understand what is expected of them, and therefore they are finding the ritual of dating confusing and to some degree threatening. This can be frustrating for us ladies as well.

After centuries of having no option to voice their true opinion, and after years of accumulating a “collective” hurt and anger, are bewildered by the numerous possibilities they now face to exercise their emerging confidence, independence and assertiveness. The new power that modern society has surrendered to women and the equal opportunities that have been opened to them have helped a lot of women make a tremendous progress in their professional life. However in their personal life, and in their relationships with men, disorientation and perplexity have often ruled.

What we have been witnessing in the last decade or two which is only now becoming obvious ­ can be best defined as confusion in gender roles. In courting or pursuing a relationship a lot of women have been showing drive and initiative (traditionally identified as male energy), and as a result, a lot of men have taken a more passive role.

Well, after comprehending all these new rules, I have decided that while I am grateful for the advances women have made, I still prefer a little of the old-fashion dating rituals. The rules that include men courting the women, kissing us goodnight, opening doors, asking US out, and making the first move. It is too confusing trying to figure out this new generation of passive men.

I have twelve days to go before I leave this place called Iraq. I will then have 4 months to go before faced with separation from the military and the lifestyle I have grown accustomed to for the last 8 years of my life. Am I scared shitless? Well, yes abso-frickin-lutely. Was it the right decision? Yes, without a doubt!

Warning: Be prepared if you are going to read this—you may want to get a cup of coffee and find a comfortable chair for it is quite long-winded.

I have never been the type to settle down or live a boring life. It is not in my nature and I think I’d rather die than live a mundane existence. (Most of you know I have ADD-in a matter of speaking). I live for adventure, joy, laughter, friendship, passion (and compassion). I strive on learning and becoming educated about everything with no subject going unexplored. (This may explain why I have four Master’s degrees started and none finished). This may also explain why I have remained single all this time. It is not that I can’t commit or don’t enjoy companionship. I just tend to change course as soon as things becomes dull or routine. Let’s face it, most relationships become that at one point or another.

But, that is not the message I am writing about today. The message is about life–my life and what path I will walk next. Folks, I have come to yet ANOTHER fork in the road.

Since I wrote my verbose e-mail (seems to be a trend) about all the particulars that led up to my decision to separate, people have inundated me with questions as to what I “want” to do when I get out. “What is your plan?” these rightfully curious folks ask.

These questions are referring to a job, occupation, career, or profession. I feel obligated to give an answer, a justification as to why I chose to become another individual standing in the unemployment line. When I am communicating with potential employer’s I have to reply with a creative and convincing response to sell myself (and of course where do I see myself in five years?)

Well, I have to be truthful here. The truth is I don’t know. I don’t have a real plan or a job lined up. Yes, that is irrational. Yes, that is irresponsible. Nevertheless, let me tell you all how that feels. Liberating, exhilarating, and invigorating! (And also, scary, anxious, worrisome, uneasy, and a bit stressed).

The main reasons I decided to get out were to have control over my life, explore other options, and seek more opportunities to make a discernible difference. Now I have this and let me tell you it is a feeling that would be difficult to illustrate to anyone (except an emancipated prisoner). Above all of the apprehension, and most important and ironic at the same time, it is a feeling of peace and serenity. The next step is mine and mine only. This was my choice and I accept it.

All of the things I wanted to do I am free to do–whatever that may be. Therefore, I do not feel unjustified in answering those questions with “I am going to do whatever I deem necessary and desired.” However, I won’t be foolish and there will be some rational thought that will go into my next step. The choices are endless and that, well that is what causes the anxiety and stress—too many choices. How blessed am I?

I can join the Reserves. I will start my Master’s (and finish!) I may volunteer in a third world country. I may travel to Europe for a month. I may teach English in Thailand. I may carry out missionary work. I may help build a house in New Orleans, invest in real estate, learn a language. I may write a book, hike an endless mountain trail, help the sick, feed the hungry, or sit on my ass and just enjoy a glass of wine and a great sunset for a while.

Whatever I decide, nothing says I have to decide right now. If I decide now, at the first opportunity–that will just lead to moving from one contractual obligation to another. Nope, I want to take the time, enjoy life for a few moments and wait for the right opportunity. I will look for the job, occupation, career and profession that suits me. This is my time to do what I want.

People–it is a big world out there with unlimited opportunities! Life is short! You have to live to be alive, not for what other people expect or want you to do out of some duty or unfulfilled obligation! You can do this and be smart about it!

Material things do not matter. Touching people’s lives matter, happiness matters, self-fulfillment mattes, laughter and love matter. Human beings matter. God matters.

Every step you take and every person you meet molds you into what, rather who you are to become. It is a building process. We are all blessed with different talents and abilities. Use them! We all have our own paths to follow and none will be the same as another’s. Some paths will cross and some will never cross. We all have reasons we stay on the same path or change direction and take a different one. Eventually all the paths end in the same place, it is just a matter of how you prefer to get there and the choices you make along the way.

If want to be given everything, give everything up. Enjoy living!

I have learned much about myself being here in Iraq. There is time to do much soul-searching. Not to mention you live in a 7’x20’ room without a toilet or sink for 6 months with nothing else to do but watch bootleg movies on your laptop or write excruciatingly long monologue’s.