Editor's Note: This is a guest post by Kenneth Weene, author of two novels. Widow's Walk and his latest, Memoirs from the Asylum, can both be found on Amazon. You can find his short stories and poetry throughout the web and in print.
Why bother? Isn’t it easier to not write, not get frustrated with all those rejection letters, the people who think you should have changed this character or that outcome? Then there’s the P.R., the endless battle to get your book noticed.
You can obsess about your standing on Amazon, not realizing that just one order may swing your title fifty places on that list. You can contact blogger after blogger: “Please give my book some space.” Wait – I can get a pod-cast. How many listeners? Who knows.
Finally, the big moment – the royalty check for the quarter arrives. Trepidatiously you open it. There it is, barely enough to take your sweetheart out for burgers and fries or maybe hot dogs and chips. You remind yourself that getting rich was never the reason. Of course, deep in your heart you’re damning the gods because you haven’t received a film offer, one you so richly deserve and that would actually put some money in your pocket.
Procrastination Comes Easy for a Writer
So, I ask again, why bother? Why write? Maybe you should give up. You could find a different obsession, something that would also take up hours of your time. You could learn to play a musical instrument. You could work on your yoga. You could …
Forget it. You have to get back to that new short story, the one about the narrators ex-wife’s second ex-husband’s affair with the girl who turned out to be an agent of the Mossad who is following a Hamas-linked Imam, who it turns out …
Well, maybe you’ll put that plot on hold and find something a bit more believable.
Computer time.
First you do your email. There might be an opportunity to do some more marketing of the book you already have out. Maybe there will be an acceptance for those poems you sent out. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Lots of spam. Your nephew wonders how your writing is going. A couple of Facebook friends have posted to your wall. You work through the emails. It’s easier than actually coming up with something, so you even send out a couple of hellos. Then back to Facebook, right? An hour passes reading posts, making comments, watching YouTube clips that have been shared.
More mail has come in. Check it out. Repeat.
Wasted morning. Why do I bother? goes through your mind like a neon sign.
Story Ideas Run Through Your Head
You imagine a kid, a teenager, gawking up at that neon sign. He’s in a big city, obviously new there. Hasn’t got a clue.
Why’s he there? A runaway? No, too trite. Long pause – long enough so the computer screen has gone dark. That doesn’t matter, you’re staring out the window and all you can see is that scene in your imagination.
Suddenly it hits you. This kid, this cornpone, country kid has come to the big city because he’s going to the conservatory. Yeah, he’s a musician, not just a musician, but a gifted … a gifted what, flutist? (Nah, too feminine for a story.) Guitarist? (trite) Pianist (That would do, but do I know enough about piano? Piano player stories have to be technically correct.) Trumpet, no, no, saxophone. That’s it he’s a gifted sax player come to the conservatory. He’s got a girl back home, one he really loves, or at least he thinks he does. And, he’s missing her right now. He’s staring at that sign and feeling overwhelmed, confused, lost. He wishes she were here with him.
What’s he looking at? A phone ad. Yeah, he’s missing her and thinking about that phone ad.
Is he already accepted at the conservatory? No. He’s here for the audition. Got his sax right in his hand. So he can screw it up if he …
Yeah, that’s the conflict. How to heighten …? Somebody playing on the street. The downside, right in front of him. Make it a trumpet player.
That’s it, the beginning.
Ideas Turn to Written Words
You hit a key. The computer screen comes back. Get out of email. Word. Blank document. Set margins. Set spacing. A moment. Do you want courier or times new roman? Then it begins. You begin. Words start to jet from your fingers onto the screen. You are no longer confused, no longer unsure. You are writing. You are a writer. It is what you do. That is the why, the only one that matters. You bother because it is you.
More from Julie McElroy
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Procrastination is easy but not just for writers haha
I maintain a few blogs and procrastinate over all sorts of aspects, from design to setting up plugins, etc. But sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done. I find I usually feel better afterwards.
You are right Eric, I do feel better afterwards – a sense of accomplishment!
I like both procrastinating and writing as well. I like reading this blog. Thanks for this post. It makes sense.
Yes, I think most people have a case of procrastination running through their blood! Thanks for the comment!
Procrastination is present in everybody at some level or another. I think the more has to actually use there mind, like a writer, to make $ makes the level go up. I guess having to really push yourself mentally to do something successfully will have an increase level of procrastination while the people who have very boring, no thinking jobs are less prone to it. Just my two cents. I could be wrong, as my wife points out all the time. Thanks
This is a good perspective! I think it can be true. When we know a task is going to take a lot of mental power, we tend to put it off because we really have to prepare ourselves to commit to a task. When the effort to reward ratio goes up, it also is more difficult to get motivated.
This was a fun read. The ups & downs of trying to make it work, stay level-headed in your decision making, double guessing if you are making the right choice in self-promotion.
I think your NY Times best seller is in the cards. The ideas can only arrive when they are ready. One can’t force the ideas, unlike a subway train or an alarm clock. The writing comes to you on its own terms.
Very true! It would be nice if we could ‘turn-on’ inspiration like an alarm clock!! Wouldn’t that make life easier? Thanks for the comment!